11/11/09
Amy

(Living Love) Patterns of Relating


Patterns of relating are developed, learned, and created. As much as we sometimes wish that we could simply will healthy patterns of relating into existence, it takes time, love, and repetition.

We could all pretty easily come up with a lengthy list of improvements we would like to see in our spouse and ways we wish that they would show us love more often. Yet sometimes the things that we wish they would do for us the most, we ourselves withhold from our spouse. Maybe it feels as if the wishes we hold closest to our hearts are threatened if we release them or admit them?

In all relationships, patterns of relating become habit. They are repeated and, when we do not oppose them, we in fact affirm them. Do not sit and simply wish that you spouse was more physically affectionate or complimentary.  Most likely, you have been a part of the cycle. If you want to see a change, you reach out to your spouse. Touch them, compliment them, pursue them. The desires in your own heart can be a reflection of relational shortcomings in your relationship.

Break the cycle. You can be the one to start the learning and development process of integrating new patterns of relating into your relationship.

One comment on “(Living Love) Patterns of Relating

  1. Francie Schmuhl on said:

    Wow, this is so incredibly true. I started to change my whole attitude toward my husband, children, friends and self about 6 months ago. It has made an incredible difference in our lives and now I’m starting to see a change in my husband and how he relates to me. For example (a tiny one), this weekend, he finally came to my defense when his Dad began peppering me with questions. After telling my husband for years that his Dad could be rude and pushy, he finally stood up for me and told his Dad to back off. Wow! That has made a huge impression on me and I love him more for it. Thanks for the post. Now…..on to those crepes!!!

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