Posts Tagged ‘relating’

11/11/09
Amy

(Living Love) Patterns of Relating


Patterns of relating are developed, learned, and created. As much as we sometimes wish that we could simply will healthy patterns of relating into existence, it takes time, love, and repetition.

We could all pretty easily come up with a lengthy list of improvements we would like to see in our spouse and ways we wish that they would show us love more often. Yet sometimes the things that we wish they would do for us the most, we ourselves withhold from our spouse. Maybe it feels as if the wishes we hold closest to our hearts are threatened if we release them or admit them?

In all relationships, patterns of relating become habit. They are repeated and, when we do not oppose them, we in fact affirm them. Do not sit and simply wish that you spouse was more physically affectionate or complimentary.  Most likely, you have been a part of the cycle. If you want to see a change, you reach out to your spouse. Touch them, compliment them, pursue them. The desires in your own heart can be a reflection of relational shortcomings in your relationship.

Break the cycle. You can be the one to start the learning and development process of integrating new patterns of relating into your relationship.